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1) I wouldn't want to appear as ungratefull or bitter to upper management.
2) I can't actually talk yet.
Look, all I'm saying is that I'm starting to get the ugly feeling that this whole having parents thing is going to be more of a dictatorship than the 50-50 partnership that I was promised when I signed the papers. Maybe they'll start allowing me a little more say-so once I'm older but as of right now, they run the show.
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But I digress... The major change is that after 3 months, my uncle and aunt have left the house and gone back home to a place called Puerto Rico. We went from a family of 5 to a family of 3... just like that. This is the first time that I am completely alone with my Mommy and Daddy since our time in Colombia. First my aunt Sandy came to visit then my Abuelita Angie came for a long visit and then Yared and Grizi showed up and stayed for a 3 month visit.
It was awesome. I like my Tio Yaro. He plays rough with me and then pretends to be all kinds of different wild animals and chases me around the house on his hands and knees. But the TV show that everybody was working on ended it's 13 week run and everyone can now go back to their normal lives as Mommy likes to say.
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Before Yaro and Grizi left, we all went to visit Titi Mayra in Orlando. She's Mommy's aunt and I always have a lot of fun with her. She's silly and loud and funny and loud. Daddy was away on a business trip so it was just the 4 of us on a 4 hour car trip. It wasn't too bad. Tio Yaro was making me laugh the whole way and Mommy packed some really great snacks for the trip.
I've learned a couple of new things that I'm pretty proud of.
Are you ready? Here goes... I learned how to knock.
I'm really good at it. I can do it on doors, on windows, on floors, on tables, on chairs, on walls and on my helmet. Daddy was especially excited with my new trick because he says that if I am old enough to knock... then I'm old enough for knock knock jokes.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Impatient Cow
Impatient Cow wh...
MOO!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
KGB
KGB who?
(slap the other person really hard in the face)
Ve'll ask ze questions around here!
The other thing that I've learned to do is sush crying babies. If I'm out in public with my Mommy and Daddy and there is a crying baby nearby I will put a finger up to my mouth and then go Shhh! as loud as I can. No one knows where I learned it and I'm not telling... literally.
Uh... no.
Are you sushing the baby? my Daddy says to me in an extra loud voice. You're such a little man... where did you learn that? Do it again... sush the large man's baby... do it again... please! In the name of all that is holy... sush the large,angry man's baby again!
Naturally... I refused. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. I'm an artist! Not a performing monkey.
And if any of you out there have a problem with that, you can take it up with my Mommy an Daddy... But not now... I'm in a meeting.
Shhhhhhh...
My Daddy has the same exact illness.
Aha! How do you like that? How does that make you feel?
Hmm... maybe I should have thought this through a little more. This is a little gross.
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I'm not one to judge... believe me.
KILLER ROBOTS DON'T TAKE NAPS!
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