Friday, September 17, 2010

Get Your Thumb Out Of Your Mouth

Adopting a fully-grown set of parents is no easy task. It is a winding road full of pitfalls and surprises. Take rule changes, for example. Any major corporation will tell you that major decisions and rule changes take years to officially implement... but not brand new parents. No. They just spring it on you form one day to the next like if it was a new pair of socks or something. No preparation or training. You just wake up one day and whamo! Everything's changed.

It started happening a little over a week ago. Out of the blue and just like that, they changed the rules on me. And you can tell that they got together and talked about it because it's the both of them ganging up on me saying the same thing over and over again...

Get your thumb out of your mouth.

Such a simple phrase and yet... so life changing. Think I'm being a bit dramatic? Perhaps... but understand that I'm 14 months old. There aren't a whole lot of things that I can actually do. Let's see... there's eating, sleeping, pooping, pipi, tantrums, terrorizing the cat, destroying toys, sucking the thumb... yep, that's it. That's about all I got. My point is that it's a limited list of abilities that I have at this stage so when you completely take away one of them... it's a pretty big deal. And as far as the thumb-sucking goes... I think I've proven over the last 3 months that I am a huge fan of the thumb and consider myself somewhat of an expert.

Let's review a few of my favorite thumb-sucking moments from the past 3 months:

My secret is that I get the thumb nice and wrinkled by soaking it in the warm bath water. That's where the flavor is... in the wrinkles.

It's 7:23 AM!.... I'm just worthless before my first cup of thumb of the morning.

Mmmmmm... a little birthday thumb action while we were all still in Cali, Colombia. Ribbon not included.

This one's also from Cali. Look how big my clothes look on me. I was just a little kid back then.

This was when I found out that I was afraid of grass. The thumb was the only thing that kept me calm.

I will suck my thumb in a house.
I will suck my thumb with a mouse.
Esteban Joel, I am.

Another major change that has affected my life in a profound way is the place where I spend my days now from Monday to Friday. Abuelita Angie had to go back to Puerto Rico so I now participate in that All-American tradition... Day Care.

The place is near where Mommy works and the lady that takes care of me is very nice. You can tell that she has a lot of experience with little kids because she's already gotten rid of a couple of my bad habits. I don't squirm around as much whenever Mommy and Daddy are changing my diapers anymore. I don't fight the car seat nearly as much anymore and I don't throw tantrums when I'm full and do not wish to be fed any longer. Now, I just simply close my eyes and nod my head "no". Not too bad, eh?
I am on the verge of walking and talking and it has my parents on the verge of losing their minds. They are trying very hard to be there whenever it is that I decide to say my first words. Mommy thinks it will probably be something sentimental like I love you very much Mommy dearest. Daddy thinks it'll be something having to do with food. He's convinced my first words will be More rice please.

One of the best things about this new day care situation is that I get to hang out with kids my age. It reminds me of the place where I used to live back in Cali. Especially when I introduce you to my new best friend... okay so technically he's my only friend... but nevertheless... Everyone... meet Behailu. I call him my best friend because we have so much in common. For one thing, we are both short, dark and handsome. We are both also in the about to stage. About to walk, about to talk, about to drive our parents crazy.
Another thing that Behailu and I have in common is that we both adopted our parents. But he's not from Colombia like me however, he's from a place called Ethiopia. He and I play together all day and whenever Mommy or Daddy come to pick me up, he rushes over to say hello to them just like I do. I don't mind it when Daddy picks him up to say hello. But for some reason I don't like it when Mommy does it.

Is that weird?

I know I've already eaten, and I also know that I only have 2 teeth in my head. But I gotta tell you... That Chick-Fil-A you're eating looks absolutely scrumptuous, Father.

I don't know what you're crying about, Kid. I warned you... and you're the one who wanted a head-butt instead of a high-five. KILLER ROBOTS FEEL NO SYMPATHY!

Goodbye... See you tomorrow... Hasta luego... I hope you understand it when I leave with my parents at the end of every day. It's nothing personal. It's just, you know, they went and brought me here all the way from Colombia... you understand, right?

Okay, fine... you can be Batman and I'll be Robin. But I get to be Batman tommorrow.