Sunday, December 12, 2010

Back to Basics

Major changes, yet again, out on the home front. And may I just add one thing before we get into the specifics... once again a major decision was made behind closed doors and no one thought to include me in any of the meetings. I'd complain if it weren't for two things:

1) I wouldn't want to appear as ungratefull or bitter to upper management.
2) I can't actually talk yet.

Look, all I'm saying is that I'm starting to get the ugly feeling that this whole having parents thing is going to be more of a dictatorship than the 50-50 partnership that I was promised when I signed the papers. Maybe they'll start allowing me a little more say-so once I'm older but as of right now, they run the show.

But I digress... The major change is that after 3 months, my uncle and aunt have left the house and gone back home to a place called Puerto Rico. We went from a family of 5 to a family of 3... just like that. This is the first time that I am completely alone with my Mommy and Daddy since our time in Colombia. First my aunt Sandy came to visit then my Abuelita Angie came for a long visit and then Yared and Grizi showed up and stayed for a 3 month visit.

It was awesome. I like my Tio Yaro. He plays rough with me and then pretends to be all kinds of different wild animals and chases me around the house on his hands and knees. But the TV show that everybody was working on ended it's 13 week run and everyone can now go back to their normal lives as Mommy likes to say.
I'm not sad because I'm going to see them again really soon when I go to Puerto Rico for some sort of a formal function called The Holidays. I'm going to Mommy's island for the very first time and she couldn't be more excited. Mommy says that Puerto Rico is called the Island of Enchantment by the locals because the island is so beautiful that it makes you fall in love with whoever you happen to be standing next to. Daddy says that they have the same thing in Mexico... only over there it's called tequila.

Before Yaro and Grizi left, we all went to visit Titi Mayra in Orlando. She's Mommy's aunt and I always have a lot of fun with her. She's silly and loud and funny and loud. Daddy was away on a business trip so it was just the 4 of us on a 4 hour car trip. It wasn't too bad. Tio Yaro was making me laugh the whole way and Mommy packed some really great snacks for the trip.

I've learned a couple of new things that I'm pretty proud of.

Are you ready? Here goes... I learned how to knock.

I'm really good at it. I can do it on doors, on windows, on floors, on tables, on chairs, on walls and on my helmet. Daddy was especially excited with my new trick because he says that if I am old enough to knock... then I'm old enough for knock knock jokes.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Impatient Cow
Impatient Cow wh...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
KGB who?
(slap the other person really hard in the face)
Ve'll ask ze questions around here!

The other thing that I've learned to do is sush crying babies. If I'm out in public with my Mommy and Daddy and there is a crying baby nearby I will put a finger up to my mouth and then go Shhh! as loud as I can. No one knows where I learned it and I'm not telling... literally.
Funny story with the sushing; We were at the mall the other day and I sushed a little annoying, loud-mouth kid that was sitting nearby with his family. When cry baby's Daddy stood up to see who was sushing his kid... he must have been 7 feet tall. My Daddy was certain that the other Daddy thought that he had been the one that had just sushed his kid. My Daddy panicks. What's a brand new father to do? Do you take the fall for your kid? Do you risk life and limb and take the blame for something that your child did?

Uh... no.

Are you sushing the baby? my Daddy says to me in an extra loud voice. You're such a little man... where did you learn that? Do it again... sush the large man's baby... do it again... please! In the name of all that is holy... sush the large,angry man's baby again!

Naturally... I refused. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. I'm an artist! Not a performing monkey.

And if any of you out there have a problem with that, you can take it up with my Mommy an Daddy... But not now... I'm in a meeting.


This picture is the perfect example of what happens when you put a football game on a TV set anywhere near my Grandfather.

My Daddy has the same exact illness.

This is a leftover picture of Mommy from Halloween. Wait... She's wearing my hair!

Alright Aunt Sandy if you say I'm not allowed to pick my nose... Then I'll pick yours!

Aha! How do you like that? How does that make you feel?

Hmm... maybe I should have thought this through a little more. This is a little gross.

Ok... take it easy. All I asked was who farted?

I'm not one to judge... believe me.

Esteban Joel, Boy Robot lies patiently, pretending to be asleep, in order to lure his prey ever closer. Once they are in range... he will strike.