Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Knowing How To Spend It

Interesting developements at home. And I will use this story as the perfect example of the basic difference between my Mommy and my Daddy. It seems that something very important to Daddy has started happening every Sunday. This very important thing is called The NFL 2010 season. More importantly, my Daddy's all-time favorite team has started to play games that count and he loves to watch the games every sunday afternoon. Problem is... I don't like the NFL. I like to do other fun things with my Sundays. Things like crawl around the house at high speeds, crawl up and down the stairs for 5 hours at a time, climb into my little blue car and have Daddy push me around the neighborhood and terrorize the cat.

You know... fun stuff.

So we had a problem... until Daddy came up with a solution.

Meet Astrid. She's 15 years old, lives in our neighborhood and aside from being my future wife, she is the new babysitter that Daddy has hired to watch me for 3 hours every Sunday afternoon while he watches his football game.

So now my Sundays go like this: Mommy wakes me up early and changes my diaper and then puts me in bed with Daddy. Then she goes to work and Daddy and I have a Many Man Super Studly Nap together (Daddy named the nap). About an hour later, Daddy and I get up and head downstairs for some breakfast and some play time. After about 3 hours of chasing me around the house and maybe a wrestling match or two on the living room floor (I suspect he's letting me win on purpose... but I'm not quite sure yet), I'm ready for a bottle and a nap.
By the time I wake up, usually around 1 PM, Astrid is already there ready to play with me. She feeds me my lunch, gives me my dessert and then takes me upstairs to play. We stay upstairs in my room usually while Daddy is downstairs watching his stupid big screen TV. He says that I'll eventually learn to appreciate the pleasures of HDTV but for now it's just another stupid thing in the house that I'm not allowed to touch.

Mommy just stared at Daddy while he was excitedly pitching her his big idea of having Astrid come over to watch me on Sunday afternoons. Why don't you just record the games and watch them later at night after the baby is asleep? she asked. What? That wouldn't be the same thing at all. He replied. Why not? she asked. Because... I would already know who won. He said. So what? She asked. You'd still get to see the game. Daddy just looked at her like if she was speaking a foreign language. Like if he didn't understand what she had just said to him. They just stared at each other for about 9 minutes until Mommy finally gave in and agreed to Daddy's big plan.

At $10 an hour Mommy figured out that Daddy was going to be dishing out $120 a month just so he would be able to watch his beloved football games every week. That was when Daddy quickly reminded her that he was willing to pay as much as $200 a month to watch his games so he was actually saving $80. You're a genius, Mommy said. Thank you came the reply from Daddy. Somehow I don't think Daddy has the full grasp of sarcasm yet.

In the end, Mommy rationalized that for Daddy, having those 3 hours to himself every week was worth it if it helped maintain his sanity a little bit. She still thinks that Daddy is a little loose with our money and that that is something that he's going to have to work on. Daddy, on the other hand, firmly believes that money isn't worth the paper it's printed on... if you don't know how to spend it.
We had a nice surpise last week when one of the stray cats form the neighborhood had 4 kittens and brought them to our front porch. I like cats. Especially when they're really small and can't get away from me so easily. Mommy says that I must learn to be gentle. Daddy says that killer Robots don't have a gentle side! I tend to agree with Daddy. We come outside and visit the kittens at night right before my bath time.

A funny thing happened the other morning. Daddy who keeps claiming not to care about these stray cats and teases Mommy about being the crazy cat lady of the neighborhood was running late to work one day and left the car door open while he sprinted back inside the house for his cell phone. When he was 10 minutes from the house he realizes that one of the strays had climbed into the back seat and was now lounging back there looking at him casually. Daddy had 2 options:

1) Kick the cat out right there and let him fend for himself.
2) Drive all the way back home and kick the cat out there.

He took option #2. As he complained to Mommy later that night while telling her the story she had a tiny smirk on her face that said it all... Who's The Crazy Cat Lady Now?

Esteban Joel, Killer Robot pretends not to notice the evil cat with the glowing eyes behind him. Soon... he will make his move.


Esteban Joel, Junior Jedi Knight engages his light saber and prepares to battle Daddy Vader. What's that, you say? You are my father? Duh. I already know that. You went to get me in Colombia, remember? What's wrong with you?

Gratuitous cute kitten shot.

Um... I know I'm supposed to be enthralled with the cute kitties and engrossed by their playful innocence and all of that but... I gotta tell you, that cat food looks absolutely scrumptious.

Here we see the only existing photo of Esteban Joel, Fastest Boy In The World as he flashes by on his way to meet his mortal enemy... Coke Float Man.