Thursday, July 1, 2010

Getting Older Really Hurts

Wikipedia defines Teething as: The process by which an infant's teeth sequentially appear by breaking through the gums. Let me repeat the part of that definition that is really affecting me at this moment... breaking through the gums.

Are you kidding me? After all I've been through in this short life of mine you're telling me that now I have to endure the sensation of my own teeth ripping through my flesh?

Really? And it didn't occur to anyone out there to warn me about this?

Good grief! My entire body hurts. I'm cranky all the time. I'm not sleeping well. I cry all the time. This... is not good.
Mommy and Daddy are doing the best that they can. They are numbing my gums with Baby Orajel and that helps a little but it been really tough treading the last 24 hours around here. Abuelita Angie says that once my teeth break through it'll get a lot better but for now... it is what it is.

It is what it is? Listen Grandma. That kind of half-baked advice might fly in Puerto Rico, but not here! you feelin' me soul sister? I need concrete ideas on how to lessen the pain, and I need them now!


I'm sorry Abuelita Angie... I didn't mean to snap at you. It just hurts so much! I love you so much!

Anyway... I can't blog tonight. I need to find a way to get some sleep. My head hurts so much I can't even see straight. I've been so cranky lately that even Daddy has started hating life a little. The following is a list of things my Daddy misses most after 2 weeks in Colombia.

1) Ice
2) Air Conditioning
3) Traffic Lights and laws that people actually follow when out on the streets
4) Sports Center
5) Sweet Tarts
6) Sidewalks
7) Showerheads
8) Noise Ordinance Laws
9) Not constantly sweating
10) Not being worried to death all day long because his brand new baby boy is hurting

Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. If not... Mommy and Daddy will be the first to know.

I guarantee it.

Field Trip

Let me see if I have this straight. There are places in major cities callled zoos where you just walk around staring at poor defensless animals who are caged up and exploited and forced to live outside of their natural habitats?... Um, okay I'm in. Who wants a soda?
Grrrr. You ain't so bad Mr. Pussy Gato. Go get me a bowl of Frosted Flakes or I'll kick you in the ear again.
This is a funny picture. Daddy was making a Jaguar sound and he scared me and I started to cry. Then Mommy almost made Daddy cry. Stupid Jaguars... That's why I prefer Mercedes.
Daddy calls this picture Mutant Ninja Turtle Vato. Mommy let go of me and I didn't fall. She was so proud... I didn't tell her I pooped my pants.
You see that Lion asleep back there? I'm tickling his butt. Chiqui chiqui chiqui chii.
Daddy says that Koi Fish survive on a steady diet of little Colombian boys.
Stupid Koi Fish. You think that scared me? Huh?... well yes actually it did a little.
Ok... this one's for Padrino Poncho and uncle Super Dave only: Come on fishies... don't be koi.
Daddy told Mommy that he found out that this Llama's name was Dolly. When Mommy called her The Dolly Llama, Daddy laughed all by himself for like an hour and a half. Mommy just stared at Daddy. I don't think she got it. I didn't either. Mommy told me to get used to it.
This is Mommy and Daddy's friend Adriana. She's Colombian just like me. She's also a zoologist here and gave us a private tour. I really like her a lot but she has a boyfriend... I can wait.
The zoo is my new favorite place in the whole world. Mommy promised me something called Disney's Animal Kingdom when we get back home. But I doubt it's better than this. You know... unless it's some kind of crazy fantasy land with rides and shows.