Home Sweet Home

Moving to a new home is difficult. You don't know your way around yet... you wake up in the middle of the night and you aren't sure exactly where you are... and even the air smells different.

But moving to another country is a whole different level of difficult. The first thing I noticed about America is this little torture chamber that all the cars have called Child Safety Seats.

Really Gringos?

I'm used to being in the middle of the action, not buckled to a plastic rocking chair facing the back window. THE BACK WINDOW? Great. So now I'm supposed to feel like I'm flying on Southwest Airlines everytime Daddy takes me to the store?

Whatever.

So I wake up in Miami in my new room and everything is a blurr. I remember the car ride to the airport in Bogota... and I remember getting on the plane and then Mommy surprised me with an extra-large bottle of formula. I gulped it down and then... the next thing I know I'm in a ladies room at the Miami airport and Mommy is changing my diaper. What happened? I thought that flight was supposed to last three and a half hours... oh well.

So we make our way to the customs and immigration area of the Miami airport and they tell us to go wait in a little room while they revise and review all of my paperwork. Daddy says that they just want to make sure that everything is legal and on the up and up and that it shouldn't take long. Well quick revision takes over an hour and a half to confirm. And since we landed at 11 PM, it was now getting close to one in the morning and we were still at the airport wating to start our new lives.

Finally the customs agent appears from the office and stamps my passport as approved and declares me an American Citizen.

Mommy cried...

Daddy sighed...

And I...
took the biggest poop all over myself that anybody at that immigration office had ever seen, heard or smelled. Mommy was embarrassed but Daddy said it served them right for making us wait so long.
When we got home Mommy and Daddy said that the house was a bit of a mess after being left alone so long. I thought it looked pretty good. But I agreed to help Daddy cut the grass the next day anyway. Boy, did we work hard!
So I have my first breakfast in America and I discover that I love peach yogurt!
Oatmeal... not so much.
The presents from Mommy and Daddy's friends started coming in the mail and I finally got what I always wanted... my own set of wheels!
So... do any of you ladies need a lift downtown? I'm headed that way.
Jump in, Daddy. I've got 3 Cheerios snack bags and half of a cranberry juice box. I can take us to Disney and back by sundown. I swear Mommy will never even know we left.
Later on that day Uncle Poncho showed me how to do an upside down bicycle kick like they do in the World Cup! That was fun!
Again? Okay. Wheee! Ok great, thanks for that Uncle Poncho...
Again? Really? Uh... Daddy? You gonna step in here or what?
All in all, it was a pretty good first couple of days. Tommorrow we go to the zoo. I'm driving.
I think I like Miami.