Sabado Gigante!

It's hot here. Really hot. Cali is hot too... but not like this. This is the kind of hot that makes you do irrational things. Things like agreeing to participate in a third birthday party for me. Exactly how many parties do you gringos need before you are satisfied?


I'm sorry. I've been a little testy lately. Maybe it's the heat.

Mommy and Daddy said that all of their friends were dying to meet me. They've been planning this party for a long time... about 3 years or so, Daddy says.

Eventually I threw caution to the wind and said what the heck. My first 2 birthday parties were awesome, and if I recall correctly a major element in birthday parties is presents so... bring it on!
These are my aunts Patricia... Andrea... Michele... and Stephanie. Someone put super glue on their backs and they were forced to spend the entire day in this exact position.
Wow. It's like a scene from Willy Wonka... which would make me a Colombian oompa loompa.
Okay, Mommy... act casual. You see those 3 little girls over there? Are any of them looking at me? No?... How about now?
Daddy thinks Tio Poncho is a riot. They've been friends for 20 years. Mommy says that they deserve each other.
Okay Aunt Ronnie... listen very closely. I'll poop myself to distract everyone and you grab some birthday cake and meet me out back in 10 minutes, got it?
I purposely matched my shirt with Aunt Maria's jewelry. Had she worn something silver... I'd be wearing my Micheal Jackson I wanna rock with you pants.
So... how are Nieves and Pepe... good?
Okay, Melissa Marty. You may carry me but may NOT kiss me. I don't like kisses, I think they are icky and...

I'm sorry...What was I saying?
Tia Andrea is Colombian, like me, so she can kiss me whenever she wants... Is that a crack in the ceiling?
Okay, okay relax. We'll make it happen. Um... let's see. Monday's no good... Tuesday's booked... I got a dinnner thing on Wednesday... It's Ortiz with a Z, right? I know I have you in here somewhere.
Daddy... Why does everybody call Tia Joyce Turkalicious?
Uh... never mind.
She: Chocolate Balls?
Me: How dare you.
Oh hi Tia Lovey. It's great to see you again too...sort of.
Daddy, why does everybody call Tia Patricia La Fresca? Um... never mind.
Daddy says that Tio Angel and I have a lot in common... from the neck, up.
Tio Poncho brought a Pinata to my party. We were all supposed to beat it with a stick until it spills candy.... We're talking about the pinata, right?
Back it up ladies... I carry a big stick.
Okay... I need everyone to form a single line and then calmly proceed to the candy.
Thank you.
Again with the singing and the staring before the cake... This is a strange tradition.
It's like the poor man's Avatar.
While the kids were getting their faces painted... Daddy and Uncle Poncho decided to settle an old debt in the bounce house.

There were a bunch of presents... but I already had everything I needed. happy birthday to me... again.