Arriba Mexico Amigos! My parents are home from their vacation and all is right with the world again. Don't get me wrong... I love my Abuela Angie and I thank her for doing everything that she did for me over the last 10 days... you know, the little things like keeping me fed, clothed and alive.
But if I've learned one thing during these last few days it's that I'm all about the Mommy/Daddy dynamic. It's the reason I adopted them in the first place. They're fun to have around and, as I am starting to find out, are pretty interesting and deranged creatures.
Take this vacation as an example... They were sooooo excited about getting as far away from me as possible so that they could sleep in and stay up late and do God knows what with their time... and then guess what? After about 2 days of fun in the sun, there they were on the computer making faces at me every morning and night. Make up your mind people!
But I guess there is no use crying over spilt guacamole as Daddy likes to say so I guess it's better if I just go ahead and present a little slide show that I'm going to call...
MOMMY AND DADDY WENT TO PARADISE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID SOMBRERO
This is the pool where Mommy and Daddy spent most of their time while they were on vacation. Mommy says that she read a lot while Daddy slept. What? Like they couldnt've done those things with me around? (wink wink)
Big freakin deal. I had a pool too. And my pool came complete with my Tio Yared who let me ride him around like a sea horse.
From all of the stories that I've heard there was also another lady that was on vacation with them. Somebody named Margarita. I don't know who she is but apparantly she joined them everyday and brought along her friends Pina Colada and Strawberry Daquiri. I don't know about you but it sounds pretty crowded and not very relaxing.
Big, stupid deal. I had 3 juice boxes and some apple sauce on my way to Tampa for my vacation and you don't see me bragging.
I farted a total of 87 times during a 4 hour trip... okay now I'm bragging.
According to Mommy, Daddy spent quite a bit of time hanging out here during the vacation. I don't know about you guys but it looks pretty boring to me. There's no toys or bikes or anything and yet every time Daddy sees this photo he smiles and his eyes get a little watery.
This was what they ate most of the time. Daddy calls it getting his Vitamin T.
Tacos, Tortillas, Tequilas, Tecates and Tamales.
This is my new friend Cuco. He agrees with me that vacations are for losers.
Nice doggy... You'd never leave me to go to another country to lounge by a pool and get waited in hand and foot.... would you?
Yes yes yes, I know that you're a ferocious guard dog and that you are trained to kill bla, bla, bla.
To me your just a furry futon with funky breath.
This is Mommy and Daddy on Day 5 of their vacation. Can someone please explain to me what they're so happy about?
Who needs them? I have a hammock... I have some bread... I have a giraffe on my shirt... I'm good.
Funny story about my Parent's vacation. While they were there, my Mommy fell in love with their Ceviche. She ordered it every single day and the waiters noticed...
So they convinced the Head Chef to come out and teach her how to make it. Mommy says to never underestimate the power of being nice to people... it'll get you far. That's how she got Daddy to like her. Daddy then mumbled something about false advertising and Mommy hit him with her shoe.
On my vacation I went to the kiddy park in Tampa... Why am I crying? Because my entire diaper just went up my butt.
Esteban Joel... 3D toddler.
Tio Yared! I'm swimming! I'm actually swimming!
Oh... Did I forget to mention that I learned to fly last week? Yeah.. Getting left out of vacations gives you super-human powers. It's a common fact.
Ok... act casual. Is the demon dog looking at me? I SAID ACT CASUAL!
Ok... I don't want to hear it. The car seat belongs to my cousin Bella. AND SHE'S A GIRL, OKAY?
All things being equal... I think my vacation was better than theirs.
Okay... maybe not.