Sabado Gigante!

It's hot here. Really hot. Cali is hot too... but not like this. This is the kind of hot that makes you do irrational things. Things like agreeing to participate in a third birthday party for me. Exactly how many parties do you gringos need before you are satisfied?


I'm sorry. I've been a little testy lately. Maybe it's the heat.

Mommy and Daddy said that all of their friends were dying to meet me. They've been planning this party for a long time... about 3 years or so, Daddy says.

Eventually I threw caution to the wind and said what the heck. My first 2 birthday parties were awesome, and if I recall correctly a major element in birthday parties is presents so... bring it on!
These are my aunts Patricia... Andrea... Michele... and Stephanie. Someone put super glue on their backs and they were forced to spend the entire day in this exact position.
Wow. It's like a scene from Willy Wonka... which would make me a Colombian oompa loompa.
Okay, Mommy... act casual. You see those 3 little girls over there? Are any of them looking at me? No?... How about now?
Daddy thinks Tio Poncho is a riot. They've been friends for 20 years. Mommy says that they deserve each other.
Okay Aunt Ronnie... listen very closely. I'll poop myself to distract everyone and you grab some birthday cake and meet me out back in 10 minutes, got it?
I purposely matched my shirt with Aunt Maria's jewelry. Had she worn something silver... I'd be wearing my Micheal Jackson I wanna rock with you pants.
So... how are Nieves and Pepe... good?
Okay, Melissa Marty. You may carry me but may NOT kiss me. I don't like kisses, I think they are icky and...

I'm sorry...What was I saying?
Tia Andrea is Colombian, like me, so she can kiss me whenever she wants... Is that a crack in the ceiling?
Okay, okay relax. We'll make it happen. Um... let's see. Monday's no good... Tuesday's booked... I got a dinnner thing on Wednesday... It's Ortiz with a Z, right? I know I have you in here somewhere.
Daddy... Why does everybody call Tia Joyce Turkalicious?
Uh... never mind.
She: Chocolate Balls?
Me: How dare you.
Oh hi Tia Lovey. It's great to see you again too...sort of.
Daddy, why does everybody call Tia Patricia La Fresca? Um... never mind.
Daddy says that Tio Angel and I have a lot in common... from the neck, up.
Tio Poncho brought a Pinata to my party. We were all supposed to beat it with a stick until it spills candy.... We're talking about the pinata, right?
Back it up ladies... I carry a big stick.
Okay... I need everyone to form a single line and then calmly proceed to the candy.
Thank you.
Again with the singing and the staring before the cake... This is a strange tradition.
It's like the poor man's Avatar.
While the kids were getting their faces painted... Daddy and Uncle Poncho decided to settle an old debt in the bounce house.

There were a bunch of presents... but I already had everything I needed. happy birthday to me... again.

Keeping It In The Family

Adoption is a funny thing. You become so focussed on the process itself that you forget about what it is that you are actually doing. Because I didn't just adopt a set of parents... I adopted two whole new sets of families.

I have three new grandparents, three new uncles, three new aunts, two new cousins, not to mention my parent's combined 17 aunts and uncles and over 30 cousins. That's a lot for one 12 month old kid to absorb. So I decided to set up a plan where I would meet my family... but a little bit at a time.

The first to come would be my Daddy's sister Sandy. She brought along my cousin Nicole. She's 16 and about to begin her junior year in high school.

My aunt Sandy is awesome. She talks to me a lot in a funny voice and you can tell that she's experienced with little kids because she never gets tired or frustrated. Even 3 days ago when I pooped my diapers twice in a matter of 4 minutes. She reacted like it was Christmas morning and she was opening presents.

Aunt Sandy lives in Texas with my uncle Ken and Nicole. She's a pharmacist and my uncle Ken is a college professor. Aunt Sandy said that she was going to invite me out to Texas next summer so I could spend a couple of weeks with her and her family. Mommy said that she would have to think about it... Daddy said that 2 weeks seemed too short a time for visiting a state as big as Texas.

Three days later, Abuelita Angie also came for a visit. She flew in all the way from Puerto Rico just to meet me. I felt like I already knew her because I would see her everyday on the computer. Abuelita also said that she wanted to take me back home with her to Puerto Rico so I could meet my Abuelo Papo and go horse-back riding with my Uncle Andres.

Everybody is really excited to meet me and they act like they've known me my entire life. I don't know how long they can keep this up but all of this attention is really making me feel good. For the longest time I've felt like an outsider that didn't really belong anywhere. And now I feel like I'm a part of something special.

Daddy calls it the power of the new infant... Mommy just calls it family.
Um... I don't know about this Michele. Number one, you're pregnant... number two, you're married to Daddy's best friend...
Oh, what the heck. Go ahead and give us a smooch. But make it quick.
Okay... I'm going to show all of you how to let Mommy know that you are full and do not wish to eat anymore breakfast. Step 1... pretend you are a robot and take your last bite and eat it without any expression on your face.
Step 2... bring that robot to life and let her know that you will not be accepting anymore food from her.
If she insists on continuing to try to feed you, move on to step 3... applying the world famous back breaker defense system. Warning: This move requires that you stretch for at least 15 minutes before attempting.
Any questions?
Uh... Mommy? This is going to sound crazy but lately I've been feeling like if people are watching every move I make. Is that the craziest paranoid stuff you've ever heard or what?
The secret to swallowing your entire arm is patience and discipline. Besides, once you get past the wrist, it's all down-hill from there.
Whenever I see a girl that interests me I just simply roll up to her and whistle as loud as I can...
If she turns around then I give her my patented mack-daddy papito chulo smile. After that it's like shooting fish in a barrel, baby.
Am I full? Uh... let me check.
Well, peek-a-boo to you too.
Are all the women in Puerto Rico as fun as you, Abuelita Angie? No wonder Daddy likes it so much over there.

A Pause for the Cause

Look familiar?

Take a closer look.

That was me, at 3 weeks old, when I first arrived at the Chiquitines Center for Adoptions. I was in bad shape. I had so many medical issues on top of the fact that I was born prematurely at 28 weeks that not too many people gave me a shot at making a full recovery, much less at being healthy enough to even consider adopting a full-grown set of parents.

But I made it. It wasn't easy, or without help. And that's who I'm dedicating today's post to. To all of those people who helped me get from where I was, to where I am.

Mommy always tells me that I am here because God put me here. That very well may be true, but there were also a lot of Guardian Angels that helped make the journey possible.

It was you who took care of me... who nourished me... who healed me. I owe all of you my life. It is because of all of you that I am here now and able to have a chance at a future. And for that, I thank you.

Thank you Raul and Gilma Inez

Thank You Maria Fernanda

Thank you Agatha

Thank you and all of the people who work with you and do what you do. You were my miracle... my saving grace... and for that, I will thank you every single day for the rest of my life.
Okay, Raul... Gilma Inez. We are in agreement. If Esteban Joel turns out to be a football player, he'll play for the Dallas Cowboys... if he turns out to be a futbol player, he'll play for Colombia. Deal?
Maria Fernanda check this out. These are the parents that I just adopted. You see that? The Daddy looks a little scary but isn't my new Mommy beautiful?
Okay... I'll sign your yearbook but that doesn't mean that we're together or anything, okay? I'm leaving to start a new life with my adopted parents and you... will have to recover and move on from this somehow, okay?
I'm going to miss these tender moments...
Tell me the truth... when you bathe other babies, do you think of me?
Thank you, I'm going to miss you too but don't hug me too tight... Girlfriend over here is crazy jealous.
They're going to have diapers and stuff in America, right?
Yes, I'm going to miss you too, but please don't sing the Titanic song... Please don't... Oh dear God, she's singing the Titanic song.
I love you too. Hey, and thanks for that whole saving my life thing, okay?
Okay... option 1, I go meet my new parents... option 2 I stay here with you forever Maria Fernanda... what do you think?
Okay... option 1 it is. Miami, here I come.

It's All Relative

One of the most important steps in the adoption journey is the bonding stage. This is the process by which the parent and child will slowly create that unbreakable relationship that will, hopefully, last a lifetime.

The textbooks say that this process can last as much as a whole year to fully establish... I don't know about you people, but I don't have that kind of time.

I need to know right now... are these people really the ones? Are they going to be my parents for the rest of my life? Will they stick with me through thick and thin? Will they embarrass me when I become a teenager?

Well, there's only one way to find out... I had to meet some of the extended family. I figure if the family is full of weirdos I should know about it right away. Daddy's family is far away in Texas but Mommy has some family that lives right here in Florida. So we set off on a little journey to meet them. I had to see for myself what kind of situation I was getting myself into.

So it's time for the part of our show that we like to call:

RANDOM PEOPLE THAT I AM NOW RELATED TO
Hello aunt Janet. I was hoping you could direct me to the nearest bathroom because I really need to... Oh hello kissy kissy Lady. Oooooh kissy kissy feels nice...
Wups... Don't look at me lady. I warned you that I had to go the bathroom.
These are my new cousins. Carlitos... Tatiana... and Bella. Listen... I don't know what rules you people follow around here, but I'm used to being the cutest kid in the room and... I'm just not feeling it today. I don't know where you found these child models to make me feel self conscious but I don't appreciate it, and I hate them all!
What's that you say? You think I'm the cutest thing you've ever seen? Well... what a coincidence. I was just saying the same thing about you guys. Wheeee! I love my cousins!
Let's dance everybody. Nice Robot Bella... I call this move The Colombian Superman.
She looks harmless, right? The sad truth is that aunt June, here is actually a professional con-artist that is wanted by the FBI in the United States and Los Federales in Mexico. 3 minutes after this picture was taken I noticed that my wallet and two pairs of my socks were missing.
This is Titi Lydia. When we got there Daddy noticed that she had lost a little weight recently and he mentioned to her that she was looking pretty good. She then informed Daddy that she was starting a college fund for me. Daddy immediately told her that she was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen... including his mother.
Woah, woah, woah... wait a second. Are you telling me that they have cakes in this country... made of ice cream? God Bless America!
Why is everybody looking at me? What's that song that they're singing? I feel pressured... WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?
Now what? I'm supposed to blow out the candle? What if I don't want to? What if I prefer the candle lit? What if I prefer my desserts on fire when I eat them? Oh, never mind... you guys already spit all over my cake.
I got presents... I got cake... I got a lot of attention... yep, I think we're bonding all right.